Sentences I would never have expected to read

In my own thread I suggested that there should be a topic on “sentences I could never have expected to read”, and Alexandra_book_life and pgmcc were unwise enough to encourage me. So here it is. This topic is for you to suggest sentences that have actually occurred in your reading (no made-up sentences please, and please also supply the source) that are weird, strange or incongruous for some reason. I quoted a sentence from a book by Robin Ince in which the words “llama pancreas” and “cake” appeared. That’s the sort of sentence we want.

So what have you got for us?

From "Around the World in 80 Days."
The steamer rolled but little, the ladies, in fresh toilets, reappeared on deck, and the singing and dancing were resumed.

>2 TorMented: Ah - in the same vein as "On entering the drawing-room she found the whole party at loo, and was immediately invited to join them; but suspecting them to be playing high she declined it."

Jane Austen, Pride & Prejudice.

>3 Maddz: If they were playing high, she should have taken them for all they had.

"It would be a bloody funny death, being drowned in a watermill."

From Checkmate, by Dorothy Dunnett. Part V, Chapter 7.

"Here once again the work was given to a local family, the Bastards. ... ... under whom one of the younger Bastards studied in London."

From National Trust book of English Architecture by J. M. Richards, ch. 10: Town Building: Terrace, Square and Crescent, p. 128.

>6 hfglen: LOL, Those damned Bastards get all the work.

When he came back we dined together, and in common decency I had to let him pump me.

The Thirty-nine Steps by John Buchan.

Yes, one could go on: "Oh, Grandfather Wheel!" "Oh, Cousin Compass!" "Oh, Friend Binomial Theorem!"

Earth Abides, by George R. Stewart

"Not many bulls goring people indoors," said Galen.

Paladin's Hope by T. Kingfisher, chapter 1.

I love Galen.

All those books have some amazing sentences.

>11 reconditereader: Yes, yes, yes to both :)

"The Devil's Dictionary" by Ambrose Bierce has many sentences that don't end the way you thought they would. Here's his definition of happiness:
HAPPINESS, n. An agreeable sensation arising from contemplating the misery of another.

>13 TorMented: Ha!

>13 TorMented: 😆

... "watching two supposed adults fighting over who is married to a motorway can't help but make you feel a little depressed to be single."

Love Will Tear Us Apart, page 153.

>16 Alexandra_book_life: Haha!

"The secret of a happy marriage ... is still a secret."
-- Henny Youngman

>18 TorMented: Nice :)))

"Dinosaur sex, she thought. That is a hell of a place to draw the line."

Chilling Effect, Chapter 10.

The book isn't amazing, though ;)

"Everyone should have an ostrich."

Niccolo Rising, chapter 33.

I need to think about this! :)))